The NeverEnding Destruction of Konoha
by Scitzophrenic-White-Tiger
Summary: Wait! Look out for the-” BANG! ”-glass door.....Naruto!” “Nani!” Konoha will never be the same. (This is a joint fic with Shadow flower)
1. It's Party Time Naruto!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters  
  
A/N: Hello! This fanfic is a joint fic with me and my friend, Shadow flower. It's her second fic, and my first, so please be nice! Some of the chars are OOC, so I don't wanna hear any complaints. This is AU, though I'm not sure what that means, I'll have to ask Shadow flower....O.o.....so anyways, enjoy!  
  
The Never-Ending Destruction of Konoha  
  
Chapter 1: It's Party T-....Naruto!!!  
  
"Wait! Look out for the-"  
  
BANG!!!  
  
"-glass door.....Naruto!!"  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
"You're going to wreck it before Sakura even gets here!"  
  
Ino screamed at him. Naruto sweat dropped as he chuckled nervously and backed away. Ino sighed and put her hand to her forehead, a storm cloud of fury visible above her head. Chouji turned to Shikamaru, absently fiddling with a dishrag.  
  
"Ah, Shikamaru, I think you should go calm Ino down."  
  
Shikamaru sighed.  
  
"How bothersome..." he said as he got up, and walked over to Ino, placing a hand on her shoulder.  
  
"Ne, Ino..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Naruto-kun, you should be more careful," Hinata said as Ino turned Shikamaru into a human punching bag.  
  
"Don't worry Hinata, I will," Naruto replied, then turned to Ino and shouted,  
  
"Ino! Go for the jewels!! The jewels!!!"  
  
Sasuke dropped down from the ceiling holding the end of a streamer in his right hand. He turned just as Ino was giving Shikamaru the good old grab-&- shake to his neck.  
  
"Are they at it again?" He sighed as everyone nodded.  
  
"That's the seventh time this hour..." Chouji said, rolling his eyes. Naruto turned to him, incredulous.  
  
"You've been keeping track?!"  
  
Chouji shrugged, and returned to the kitchen with the dishrag.  
  
With a various collection of sighs, sweat drops and groans, everyone got back to work (except for Ino and Shikamaru, and no, they are not off snogging in the corner ). They were preparing a surprise party for Sakura's 18th birthday. All of them had been appointed a job by Ino, the self-appointed leader of mission:  
  
'Set up hall for Sakura's birthday, organize everything, e.g., food, decorations, entertainment and BOOZE! (Sakura was the last of them to turn 18), beat up Shikamaru, and make sure that Naruto doesn't break anything'.  
  
Chouji had been put in charge of the food, in general, while Shikamaru was in charge of making sure Chouji didn't eat all the food, in general. Shino was outside, setting around his fireflies to light up the garden. Kiba, Akamaru and Naruto were in charge of setting up the tables, but instead, were racing them up and down the hall. As it turned out, the tables had wheels.  
  
Neji and Tenten had been shut in a side room with several large metal tanks of helium and several industrial-sized bags of balloons, with the instructions that they were to fill up half of the balloons, or they would not get any lunch. To make matters worse, there were 7 bags, and they didn't say how many balloons it contained, so they would have to count out half of the balloons exactly, because they knew Ino would count them.  
  
Ino and Hinata were organizing the decorations and flowers, and managed to con Sasuke into becoming a handyman, and putting up all of the streamers, by walking on the ceiling.  
  
Sasuke didn't appear to mind walking around upside down. What he didn't understand was why he had to coat himself in baby oil, and walk around in nothing but hot pink hot pants and fluro orange rubber gloves.  
  
Sasuke turned to Ino and Hinata after pinning up a streamer, still upside down, and frowned at them.  
  
"Isn't this blackmail?" he asked.  
  
Ino and Hinata stared at him, there heads tilted to the right. Hinata smiles deviously, and whips out a camera.  
  
FLASH!!!  
  
"No, but this is!" she declares triumphantly, waving the developing polaroid tauntingly in  
  
his face. He reached for the picture, but she quickly dropped it down her top, and shook her finger at him.  
  
"Uh-uh-uh! Finish all the work, or I show this to Sakura. And the whole of Konoha."  
  
Sasuke paled, remembering that the pink haired girl already thought he was a little queer, after that time she had walked in on him trying on one of her outfits, complete with a mini skirt, halter top, wonder bra (with socks for padding), six inch stilettos and a tiara. Despite the fact he had told her numerous times that it had been a bet, she still wouldn't believe him. Now that he thought about it, Naruto still owed him that $10...  
  
Ino laughed and high-fived Hinata.  
  
"You go girl!"  
  
Hinata gave her a smug smile in return. Just then, Tenten wobbled out of the side room, leaving an unconscious Neji in the gas-filled room. Ino whirled upon her.  
  
"Did you inflate half the balloons?" she demanded. Tenten nodded weakly.  
  
"...Are you ok?" Ino asked.  
  
"The fumes made me dizzy," Tenten replied in a high pitched and squeaky voice, looking at the space of air to Ino's left.  
  
"Since when were there two of you?" she asked as she collapsed to the floor.  
  
Kiba suddenly zoomed past on one of the more battered tables.  
  
"Oi! Ino, what are we doing to distract Sakura?"  
  
Ino smiled, with an evil glint in her eye, and laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, that's been taken care of..."  
  
Suddenly, everyone paused as they heard a feminine, and rather familiar voice scream,  
  
"Somebody help me!!!"  
  
They all rushed to the windows (minus Tenten and Neji, as they are still unconscious, and Shikamaru, who lay in a crumpled heap on the floor from Ino's ministrations) in time to see Sakura running for what appeared to be her life, or at least her dignity.  
  
"Get away from me you crazy Beatles wannabe!!!" she shouted, throwing two kunai at Lee, who was running after her, exclaiming his love for her, and spouting phrases of Shakespearean poetry. Everyone sweat dropped as Ino commented,  
  
"Isn't he doing a great job?"  
  
Three balls of tumbleweed, two whiskers and a hair later, the silence was broken by a cheerful,  
  
"Yo!"  
  
The young ninjas turned around to see Kakashi walk in, carrying a small package. Ino ran over to him.  
  
"Kakashi, you were supposed to bring the drinks!" she accused. He looked down at her with a blank expression, and blinked.  
  
"But I did," he replied. Ino looked at the package, then back at him.  
  
"That's not going to be enough," she cried, pointing to the package. Kakashi laughed.  
  
"What are you talking about? This is my new book," he said, unwrapping the package and beginning to read.  
  
"Then where is the booze?!" Ino demanded. Kakashi smiled at her and let out a high pitch whistle through his mask, somehow.  
  
"Bring it in boys!" he shouted. A couple of guys rushed in, wheeling kegs. Between them all, there were 10 kegs of booze. They all stared, as Ino turned to Kakashi, frowning.  
  
"Do you think that's going to be enough?"  
  
Kakashi chuckled, leaned down and whispered to the blonde,  
  
"Just between you and me, I have another 15 kegs on standby. And don't forget about those 48 bottles of sake in the back room." Ino nodded.  
  
"Oh yeah..." Ino looked around and spied Sasuke fully clothed, and relaxing against a wall.  
  
"Sasuke! Get back to work!" she shouted at him. He looked at her tiredly.  
  
"I've already hung up all the streamers," he replied, not moving. Ino stood their for a moment, fuming, when suddenly Jiraiya walked through the door.  
  
"Hey kids!" he exclaimed cheerfully.  
  
"Go help Jiraiya with the P.A. system!" Ino demanded of Sasuke. Sasuke moaned, about to refuse, when Hinata walked up to him and waved the polaroid at him. He sighed, and walked over to Jiraiya.  
  
Naruto walked in the door, looking worse for wear, covered in cuts, dust, bruises and various pieces of garbage. Hinata ran over to him in concern.  
  
"What happened to you?" she asked. Naruto grinned at her.  
  
"Kiba and I decided that there wasn't enough room in the hall for table racing, so we took them outside, and I accidentally crashed into a nearby brick wall," he said cheerfully.  
  
"Well, that explains the cuts and dust, but where did all this junk come from?"  
  
"Heh, well, the table completely broke after it hit the wall. So I was looking around for another table, and I spotted this half empty dumpster, so I used that instead," he finished, still grinning. Hinata sighed and shook her head in disgust. Suddenly, Naruto noticed the polaroid in her hand.  
  
"What's the picture of?" he asked curiously. Hinata smiled.  
  
"Well...." she began, but was cut short when Sasuke rushed over to her, shouting,  
  
"No! No!! No!!!"  
  
Hinata laughed, and dropped the photo back down her top, making Naruto pout. Sasuke sighed in relief, and went back to Jiraiya, who had dropped a suitcase full of CD's. Hinata turned to Naruto with a cheesy grin and whispered,  
  
"Don't worry, I'll make you a copy."  
  
And that's it! I hope you liked it, and please review! Ja!  
  
There you go. the first chapter. you can change it if you want. My comments suck. 


	2. Sakura! Where's Your Lipstick?

Disclaimer: We don't own any of the Naruto characters (Pity) and we have no intention of doing anything bad to them.  
  
AN: The chars are once again very OOC, especially Hinata. We'd like to apologize for the long wait. We would have updated sooner, but.....eh. Anyway, enjoy!  
  
Chapter 2  
Let The Games Be-....Sakura! Where's Your Lipstick!?  
  
"Somebody please help me!!"  
  
Sakura's cry echoed through all of Konoha. Ino looked at her watch.  
  
"Hmm....I think we should rescue Sakura now..."  
  
Ino looked around with a satisfied smirk at the gleaming hall, complete with balloons, streamers, booze (and food), disco lights, smoke machine and a very large sound system. She then turned with a frown to the middle of the hall, where her "assistants" lay in a crumpled heap, covered in sweat, dirt, grease, dust, mud and other substances.  
  
She walked quietly and slowly towards them, whipped out a megaphone, and screamed down at them,  
  
"GET UP!!! You can't go to the party looking like that!!"  
  
As one entity, the entire group jumped 3 meters into the air. Looking furious, Ino continued to scream.  
  
"Get out and get dressed now!" She yelled, pointing at the door.  
  
Grumbling, they slowly dragged their limp and beaten bodies out the door.  
  
"Hinata," Ino said as she beckoned to the pearly-eyed girl.  
  
"It's time to save Sakura," she said as she put on a pair of designer sunglasses. Hinata nodded as she coolly did the same.  
  
They walked out into a long, deserted street to see Sakura running full- pelt towards them, with Lee pursuing closely behind. As Sakura ran past them, they grabbed hold of her, and quickly ducked into a nearby alleyway.  
  
Lee ran straight past them, and then stopped in confusion. He looked around, calculating what had just happened, then came to a conclusion.  
  
"My pink haired goddess!!!" He cried, "You have been abducted!! But, never fear!!! Your noble, valiant and 'handsome' prince shall rescue you!!!!"  
  
With that, he sped off in the opposite direction. All three girls looked at each other and sweatdropped.  
  
After "rescuing" Sakura, they all went back to Sakura's house to get her, and themselves, ready for her birthday party, under the guise of getting ready for Kakashi's "dinner party".  
  
"Sakura! I refuse to let you out in that!!"  
  
"What!? Why not?" Sakura asked as she looked down at her comfy sweatpants, and what was obviously a guy's shirt. Ino glared in exasperation at her.  
  
"Because it is....is...."  
  
Hinata walked through the door with a cosmetics bag.  
  
"....is that Sasuke's shirt?"  
  
Sakura glanced around nervously.  
  
"Um....no..."  
  
"Really....." Hinata said as she noted the Uchiha fan on the back. Ino sighed.  
  
"Because it's so....bleugh!!"  
  
Sakura looked at her indignantly.  
  
"Are you insulting my clothes?"  
  
Hinata stepped between the two of them.  
  
"Ok, ok, let's not get physical ladies. Sakura, nobody is insulting 'your' clothes. But, since you don't seem to have any clothes with an ounce of femininity in them, you can borrow some of ours."  
  
Ino smiled, and Sakura looked at her nervously.  
  
15 minutes later  
  
"I don't think so," Sakura said as she examined her reflection in the mirror.  
  
She stood in a bright pink mini skirt, spindly pink high heels, a hot pink tank top, and her hair done up in piggy tails, with numerous pink ribbons.  
  
"Aw, really?" Hinata said.  
  
"Not a chance in hell," Sakura replied sternly.  
  
"Ok, next outfit," Ino chirped. She seemed to be enjoying this.  
  
Another 15 minutes later  
  
Sakura looked mildly disgusted and highly embarrassed as she stood there in a bra seemingly made of cobwebs, and a skirt about 5 cm long.  
  
Hinata looked at her face.  
  
"Ok, ok, next outfit..."  
  
Another 15 minutes later  
  
"Hmm.............."  
  
Sakura looked back at herself in the mirror. She was wearing a satin, emerald green dress, Chinese style, with no sleeves. It split at mid thigh, and then went down to her knees. Underneath, she wore black pants which flared out at the ends. The dress was embroidered with silver cherry blossoms, and the pants with a silver dragon wrapped around each leg.  
  
Hinata and Ino looked at her in awe.  
  
"Oh yeah, definitely the one."  
  
Sakura smiled slightly.  
  
"Ok, it'll do."  
  
Hinata also smiled and clapped her hands together.  
  
"Now it's time for your shoes, hair and make-up!"  
  
Before Sakura could reply, Ino came back from the bathroom.  
  
"Sakura, where's your make-up?"  
  
Sakura pointed to a box in a dark corner.  
  
Upon opening it, Ino discovered only 4 items. It consisted of two, hardly used tubes of lip balm, a can of deodorant, and a stick of mascara, still in its packet. She gasped.  
  
"Is this all!?"  
  
Sakura nodded. "Yeah, that's all of it."  
  
Hinata shook her head.  
  
"Thank god we brought our own..."  
  
Sakura hastily backed away.  
  
"Oh no, you're not getting that stuff on me!"  
  
Hinata turned to Ino with an evil grin.  
  
"Ino, get the rope."  
  
For the third time that day, Sakura's screams echoed through all of Konoha.  
  
AN: We hope you guys enjoyed that. Please review and ask if you have any questions. Ja ne!!! 


End file.
